Sexual Health Network - credentialed experts providing sexuality education from pleasure and orgasm to sexually transmitted diseases, sexual dysfunction, and sex and disability




The Sexual Health Network is dedicated to providing easy access to sexuality information, education, support, and other resources.

	contact us \| privacy policy \| Sun Sep 07 2008

print this page

Question:
I FIND IT TAKES ME AGES TO EJACULATE DURING SEX. I HAVE NEVER EJACULATED FROM ORAL SEX AND I WANT TO, SO DOES MY GIRLFRIEND! HOW CAN I MAKE MYSELF CUM QUICKER?

Answer:
by Scott Gross: (01/05/2005)
Hi and thank you for taking the time to ask your question. I am sorry if it has been a while since we've gotten to you because we're in the process of rebuilding the website. I don't know what kinds of positions that you and your partner have tried in an effort to help you orgasm during oral sex, but I will try and offer some general suggestions. First let me explain that not everyone is capable of orgasming in every position. Most heterosexual women can only orgasm during penile-vaginal (penis in vagina) intercourse when they are on top of their partners. Also, your combined desire for you to orgasm in this way may be creating some performance anxiety that you are not aware of. You may have experienced times when you felt like you were almost there, but then lost the orgasm. This is a common occurence if you're trying too hard to make your body do something. As for positions and techniques, remember that orgasms for both men and women are dependent on the muscle tension that gets built up during sex. Therefore, it may help for you to be in a position that requires you to tense up more of your muscles. Laying down on your back provides little muscle tension, so I would suggest standing or being on top in a 69 position. Your partner could also try using her hands and her mouth. Flavored lubricants can come in very handy for situations like this and are available at novelty shops. You may be able to find flavored condoms and unflavored lubes at a local drugstore. Finally, you can try other proven positions of bringing you to orgasm and switching to oral sex at the point of no return. This will help you to become more comfortable with the idea of having an orgasm during oral sex even unconsciously which should help. Hope this helps you. Feel free to ask any other questions you might have! Scott Gross

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

This question appears in the following topics: