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Question:
I am 25 and never had a real boyfriend until now. I want to sleep with my boyfriend but i am very nervous of my odor. I have heard of all the jokes of the 'fish' smell and knowing that everyone is different is there a normal smell? Sometimes i also have a heavy discharge and other days barely at all is this normal? Do most women bathe or shower before sex or is the natural 'been in undies all day smell' normal and do guys care.
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Answer:
by Robert Birch: (05/17/2004)
Thank you for your courage in asking a personal questions. It is an issue that is certainly one many women (and men) worry about. First of all, female genitals probably acquired their alleged disagreeable odor back in the days when bathing was not as routine as it is today. Believe me, men who spend the day sweating in their jockey shorts are not going to smell very appealing either, so it really isn't a gender thing. Moist body parts in dark tight places are the breeding ground for a multitude of bacteria -- all of which are easily washed away with some soap and water. OK, so women might be a bit more moist "down there," but my point is that we need to kick that old stereotype of smelly FEMALE genitals and recognize that the problem is one of bacteria, not gender.
There may be a minority of men and women who like that "natural" walk-around-in-the-hot-sun-all-day aroma, but the vast majority of folks like those delightful body parts freshened up a bit before any serious play begins. The natural lubrication that is produced by an aroused woman is fresh, unique, and quite attractive to the average guy.
Now, before you panic, let me assure you that a good shower before a date will get you through the evening and, should you choose to end that date in bed with a special person, once aroused you will still be wonderfully and naturally scented. Do not worry about your aroma, for that anxiety might get in the way of relaxing.
With regard to your curiosity about a "normal" scent of a woman, I think I would have to say that women are sexually unique in many ways, and their taste and smell are just two of these variations. As far as the nature of your discharge changing over the course of the month, this is quite normal (I am assuming that you are asking about the everyday discharge, and not the lubrication that results from your arousal). If there is a regular discharge with a strong odor I am sure you would know to make an appointment with your doctor. However, the occasional changes you have described are natural and may even be related to your monthly cycle. (Hormonal changes might also influence the quantity and characteristics of your sexual lubricant.)
Be sure of your decision, be careful and be natural.
Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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