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Question:
Thank you very much! One more question. When
we have intercourse, it is almost impossible for him to
ejaculate inside of me. He almost always finishes with
masturbation. We don't have a major problem with
this, but I would like it to happen naturally. After his
divorce, he was without sex for about 2 years, so of
course masturbation was his outlet, does this have
anything to do with him not ejaculating in me?
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: (05/15/2004)
Yes, this could be related.
Here are a few suggestions: Can he ejaculate when you
masturbate him? If no, this is something you should
work on. Have him fantasize as if he were
masturbating by himself while you stimulate his penis.
He can guide you how he wants you to caress him.
If the answer to the above question is yes, you already
are a big step ahead, and here is the next step: You
masturbate his penis until orgasm and each time you
arrange yourself in such a way that his penis gets
progressively nearer your vagina. Once he is
comfortable ejaculating close to your vagina while you
masturbate him, you are ready for the next step: You
stimulate him until he is near orgasm. Then he inserts
his penis partly into your vagina. You continue to
stimulate his penis while he thrusts. Once he is close to
orgasm he signals to you and you remove your hand.
The coital thrusting will hopefully bring about the
actual orgasm inside of you. It may be helpful for him
to focus on fantasies that he usually has while
masturbating. There is nothing wrong with having
fantasies during intercourse and this could be a good
way for your partner to distract himself.
This is a very technical description of events. It will
take a while to get through the individual steps. Take
your time. First of all, I would focus on having
intercourse again, and then later on to work on his
ejaculation problem.
Good luck!
Annette Owens, MD PhD
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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