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Question:
Thank you very much! One more question. When we have intercourse, it is almost impossible for him to ejaculate inside of me. He almost always finishes with masturbation. We don't have a major problem with this, but I would like it to happen naturally. After his divorce, he was without sex for about 2 years, so of course masturbation was his outlet, does this have anything to do with him not ejaculating in me?

Answer:
by Annette Owens:
(05/15/2004)
Yes, this could be related. Here are a few suggestions: Can he ejaculate when you masturbate him? If no, this is something you should work on. Have him fantasize as if he were masturbating by himself while you stimulate his penis. He can guide you how he wants you to caress him. If the answer to the above question is yes, you already are a big step ahead, and here is the next step: You masturbate his penis until orgasm and each time you arrange yourself in such a way that his penis gets progressively nearer your vagina. Once he is comfortable ejaculating close to your vagina while you masturbate him, you are ready for the next step: You stimulate him until he is near orgasm. Then he inserts his penis partly into your vagina. You continue to stimulate his penis while he thrusts. Once he is close to orgasm he signals to you and you remove your hand. The coital thrusting will hopefully bring about the actual orgasm inside of you. It may be helpful for him to focus on fantasies that he usually has while masturbating. There is nothing wrong with having fantasies during intercourse and this could be a good way for your partner to distract himself. This is a very technical description of events. It will take a while to get through the individual steps. Take your time. First of all, I would focus on having intercourse again, and then later on to work on his ejaculation problem. Good luck! Annette Owens, MD PhD

Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team

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