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Question:
I am a woman of 34 years old and my husband is 44.
We are married for 8 years and we have 2 children. My
problem is since 92 we make love 4 times a year and for
me it is a big problem because I need more relation, like
once a week. I told with him about this problem and he
always says that he is like that. Yesterday he said to me
that he is not attract by the sex. I asked if he has
somebody else, and he answered no. Can you confirm to
me how many time a month a normal man has to have
sex. Is my husband normal? This is a big problem in our
relation. Congratulation for this home page, please give
me an answer.
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Answer:
by Yvonne Fulbright: (05/14/2004)
Sorry to hear that you are unhappy with your sexual
relationship with your husband. That must be awfully
frustrating for you. I can surely understand your need to
find out if he has a "normal," male sex drive. However
there is a wide variation of normal so I cannot comment on
that. I can say that based on a national study of American's
that on statistical average 12.8% of married men had sex a
few times per year, 1.3% not at all and 42.5% a few times
a month. That leaves 43% who have sex 2 or more times a
week. The question isn't so much as what's normal but how
do you handle different levels of sexual interest and desire
in a relationship. Like you, it is difficult for many women
(and men also) to be in a relationship with a partner who is
not interested in physical relations. Often, it is the sign of
other problems that may exist and can ultimately upset the
nonsexual aspects of the relationship. Since the number of
sexual encounters every year is disheartening for you, and
it seems as if your sexual and emotional needs are not
being satisfied despite you sharing your concerns with your
husband, it may be time for the two of you to seek sexual
or marital counseling for guidance in resolving this matter.
If he doesn't want to go, you can go on your own to help
sort out your feelings since this is a big problem for you.
Yvonne K. Fulbright, MS.Ed.
Sexual Health Network
The Social Organization of Sexuality : Sexual Practices in the United States
by Edward O. Laumann, Robert T. Michael (Editor), John
H. Gagnon (Editor), stu Michaels Reviewed by: Max Perez BA
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