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Question:
Hello Sir. I have been married for about a year now. When i have sex with my wife, i do not use a condom because when i wear a condom, my skin gets rolled in and the inner portion gets exposed, this pains and also causes no sensation when my pennis is inside her vagina, what i do is, i remove my pennis at the time of evacuatin. But even when i don't use a condom, when i put my pennis inside, i get no feeling, sometimes i get the same problem of the skin getting rolled in and i experience complete dryness. It feels as if i'm thrusting only to satisy her, then after she gets satisfied i masturbate on her body to satisfy myself, this entire process lasts for 10 minutes. Please tell me how can i ENJOY sex, i want to get some fun while my pennis is inside her because that is the way i think it is supposed to be. Please help me out. Also tell me how to put on a condom. Thank you.

Answer:
by Larry Siegel:
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I apologise for taking so long to answer your question. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to write in. While I understand your frustration, I'm not sure I'm clear about some of the details. From what you describe, it seems as if you have very loose or excess foreskin or skin around your penis. If that is the case, I can imagine it getting caught in the condom. You also say, however, that the same thing happens when you penetrate your wife even without a condom; you get no feeling, the skin rolls up, and the inner portion is exposed, causing you pain. I really no nothing about your medical system, but I would have to recommend seeing a physician in order to see if it is something that should be explored medically. For all I can really tell, it could even be as simple as catching your hair in the condom, which would pull and hurt (it can also happen in a dry vagina). Again, without really understanding what might be happening with your penis, I would still like to suggest some things to consider. First off, many men find it increases sensation to put lubrication inside the condom. In your case, perhaps it would help to lubricate your entire penis before putting on a condom (if my remark about catching hair is actually correct, consider shaving your penis- carefully!). You might also benefit from using larger sized condoms. There are even condoms available that are made of polyurethane that fit around the penis fairly loosely. These might be helpful. I'm also attaching a link that will show you how to put a condom on correctly. Even if you don't use a condom, lubrication is very important for both of you. Remember, it's also important that her vagina be lubricated as well. I'm not sure if you have, but you might want to experiment with different positions. Positions like you entering her from behind allow you to better control your thrusting and more easily experience pleasure. I'm also attaching a link to a site that describes many different sexual positions in great detail. Even just going through a process of discovery with your wife, finding new and different ways to pleasure each other, can allow you to better enjoy sex. Perhaps alternating penetration with other forms of stimulation can be effective. Allow yourself to enjoy sex as a process and not necessarily a specific act. You might find ways of feeling that you never knew you had. I hope at least some of this was of help to you. I wish you the best of luck and hope that the new year is filled with pleasure and prosperity. Take care and be well. Larry Siegel

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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