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Question:
I just turned 30 and have noticed in recent months
that I have trouble with ejaculating to fast I mean too
fast and maintaining an erection. It really has my whole
self esteem shot, I used to be able to maintain even
after I ejaculated. Now I about to go through a divorce
and will be dating and I don't know what to do. Of
course I want to be able to have sex like I used to!
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: (05/13/2004)
It sounds as if you have some emotional turmoil
happening at this time in your life, since you are
about to go through a divorce. This may explain that
you are ejaculating faster than usually, and
that your erections are not maintained as well as
normally. There is a very good chance that you
will return to your usual level of performance once
your emotional issues are resolved.
Take your time. Do not worry about dating at this
time, worrying may only make things worse.
Also, your first dates do not have to include
intercourse right away. Once you feel ready to date
again, enjoy getting to know a new person and spend
some time simply adjusting to your new life.
This will hopefully make you more relaxed once you
resume sexual activity with a new partner.
Meanwhile you can masturbate, if you want to. This is
a very good way of improving your
erections, and there are several exercises you can do
in order to lengthen the time before you
ejaculate. You can read about these exercises on our
page dedicated to rapid ejaculation or in the
chapter called “Developing Ejaculatory
Control” in the book “The New Male Sexuality” by
Bernie Zilbergeld. Your local book store may
have it, or you can order it on-line from Amazon.com.
I can highly recommend this book to you.
I wish you all the best and good luck with everything.
Sincerely,
Annette Owens, MD PhDReviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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