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Question:
I am a group facilitator of Parents & Friends of Children with Special Needs. The parents are showing discomfort with allowing their grown children with special needs to have sexual desires and enjoy their sexuality. Would you let me know of any articles or books to read?
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Answer:
by Melissa BEE: ()
Gosh, you are in an awkward position aren't you?
There is no right or wrong way, however there are a number of important points that children with special needs have to observe such as 'waiting', 'being appropriate' and 'public and private' Note that I said CHILDREN.
When children become adults, it is a whole new ball game. Like all young adults, those with special needs may find it difficult to gain respect and trust from their parents. Depending on the degree of intellectual disability as well, may depend on whether the adult is capable of building and sustaining a relationship, emotionally and sexually. Sometimes sexual advances may be unwelcome and unwanted, and inappropriate. It is hard to be broad when there are thousands of possible scenarios and you can only look at each individual and their own needs.
Parents need to give their special kids the same information as their other children without making assumptions about capability. Many people are only disabled on the outside.
The book I use for my two autistic children is called 'How Sex Works' by Elizabeth Fenwick and Richard Walker.
Of the 1225 titles relating to sexual education in Amazon, (earlier this year) these titles sounded worthwhile:
-The Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality : An Essential Handbook for Today's Teens & Parents by Michael J. Basso (April 1997)
-Beyond the Birds and the Bees : Fostering Your Child's Healthy Sexual Development by Beverly Engel (Paperback -December 1997)
-Asking About Sex and Growing Up : A Question-And-Answer Book for Boys and Girls by Joanna Cole, Alan Tiegreen(Illustrator) (Paperback - May 1988)
-The Teenage Human Body Operator's Manual by Lee White, Caesar Pacifici, Mary Ditson, Mike Novotny (Illustrator)(September 1998)
-Dear Michael : Sexuality Education for Boys Ages 11-17 by Cynthia G. Akagi (Paperback -September 1996)
-Dr. Ruth Talks to Kids : Where You Came From, How Your Body Changes, and What Sex Is All About by Diane Degroat(Illustrator), et al (Paperback - May 1998)
-Changing Bodies,Changing Lives : A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships by Ruth Bell 3rd Rev edition (September 1998)
Audio Download: From Audible.com: Education Sexual (Sex Education) by Fortuna Calvo(Author); Audio Download running time: 1 hour by Fortuna Calvo(Author)
For more, check my archives for more resources and books for basic sex education.
Best wishes,
Melissa BEEReviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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