Register to join our community
|
|
Question:
Dr Owens, please help!!!! I am a 37 yr. old male and
I have a 24 yr. old girlfriend. We get along just great
the first few months of our sex life. it was all the time
and strong. Lately I've been having a problem with
maintaining an erection. Mentally I want her all the
time but physically I can't perform the way I want to.
She is understanding but I feel bad. I compensate by
starting out giving her oral sex to get her to her
orgasms in hope of maintaining an erection long enough
to further satisfy her. Please any help you can provide
medically or naturally. Thanks in advance.
|
Answer:
by Annette Owens: (05/13/2004)
How are your erections at nighttime or when you
wake up in the morning? Have they changed from
earlier times? How about when you masturbate? If you
have noticed that your erections have become less
strong in all three situations (morning/night,
masturbation, when you are with your girl-friend) I
recommend that you see your doctor. In this case there
may be an underlying reason affecting your general
health, as for example diabetes. A physical exam and a
few lab tests would reveal much information. Your
doctor can also evaluate, whether you could take
Viagra in order to improve your erections.
If your erections are only changed when you are with
your girlfriend and unchanged during masturbation and
in the mornings/at night, your problem probably has
psychological roots. It may be that you feel a pressure
to perform with your younger girlfriend and that this
pressure has a negative effect on your erectile
capabilities. I suggest that you read the chapter
"Resolving Erection Problems with Sex Therapy" in the
book "The New Male Sexuality" by Bernie Zilbergeld.
Your local bookstore may have it, or you can order it
on-line from Amazon.com. I can highly recommend this
book to you.
Also, when you have sex try not to focus too much on
intercourse. Take some of the pressure off. You are
already doing good by including oral sex and bringing
her to orgasm that way. Give each other massages,
take a bath together, watch an erotic movie together,
use a vibrator or other sex toys. Check
www.goodvibes.com for inspiration. There are
countless things you can do and enjoy together without
having an erection and intercourse, just use your
imagination. Once you focus less on intercourse and the
quality of your erections, your erections may improve.
At the same time you may enjoy expanding your sexual
repertoire!
Good luck!
Annette Owens, MD PhDReviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
|
This question appears in the following topics:
|
|
|
|
