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Question:
I am 33 , I used to masturbate in a strange manner, I
tried to forcedly ejaculate without erection while
watching TV, for several years. Now I am going to
marry and I am having a problem to ejaculate
prematurely with or without erection. I tried squeeze
technique but it wouldn't help as something triggers
ejaculation from inside and orgasm is completed even
if i don't let sperm to get out.
I am not married and never did intercourse, I tried
several time with some pros but failed to penetrate
due to premature ejaculation. I went to the doctor and
spt & sgot are slighthly higher.
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Answer:
by Annette Owens: (05/13/2004)
It sounds to me as if you are having two problems: 1)
Premature ejaculation and 2) guilt feelings about
masturbation.
1) “Premature” or “rapid ejaculation” is probably the
most common male sexual problem. In most cases it can
be treated. I encourage you to read chapter 22:
“Developing Ejaculatory Control” in the book “The
New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld. You can buy
the book from the Amazon.com website, but I am not
sure whether this also applies to your part of the
world. You may get enough insights and help from
reading that particular chapter in order to lengthen the
time period before you ejaculate. Dr. Zilbergeld
describes several exercises that you should follow,
including the squeeze technique which you have
already tried. Try the exercise again following his
instructions.
2) About masturbation: Over centuries and in many
different cultures, masturbation has been viewed as a
sinful practice. Not too long ago, masturbation was
associated with medical or even mental illness. For
many individuals, it is difficult to escape these myths.
I believe that masturbation is a healthy act of
self-pleasuring. It is O.K. to masturbate. I share this
view with many doctors and health professionals in the
Western world.
To give you an idea about how frequently people in the
USA masturbate, I will cite a few numbers from a
recent study, “The Social Organization of Sexuality.
Sexual Practices in the United States” (1994) by
Lauman, E.O. et al.; University of Chicago Press. A
more popular version of this book is called “Sex in
America. A Definitive Study” (1994) by Michael, R.T. et
al.; Warner Books. The study involved 3,432 men and
women from all social, educational, cultural, and
religious backgrounds, and living all over the USA. Since
participants in the study were chosen randomly by a
computer program, the study population is highly
representative of the entire nation. Following are the
numbers of people who masturbate once a week or
more: men 26.7%, women 7.6%; numbers of people
who masturbate not at all: men 36.7%, women 58.3%.
These numbers clearly show that masturbation is a
common practice in our culture. However, it is
interesting to note that 54.0% of men and 46.8% of
women do feel guilty after masturbation.
Finally, some advice for having intercourse when you
are getting married: Do not only focus on intercourse,
this will only make you nervous and make it difficult for
you to perform the way you would like to. Take some
time to get to know your wife’s body, give each other
massages and just enjoy touching each other. You can
probably stimulate your wife to orgasm orally or
manually, you do not need an erect penis for her to
enjoy sex with you. Once you are less nervous about
the novelty of being with a partner, you may find it
easier to control your ejaculation and have satisfying
sex.
All the best to you,
Annette Owens, MD PhDReviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
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