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Question:
I'm writing you in order to find out if there is any possibilituy to know, for sure, if i'm still virgin. I never had sexual intercourse with men but i usually masturbate (really deep) and I wear tampons. It's really important to me to know where is located the himen (how deep in the vagina) and if it can be broken by masturbation.
How can I know it, by examination, by touch...
Another question, if I'm not a virgin anymore can I have hymen reconstruction?
Please help me
Maria
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Answer:
by Larry Siegel: (06/26/2004)
Hello and thanks for writing in. I apologize for the delay in getting back to you. What you're asking about is something that has been a major point of discussion, particularly over the past decade. The term "virgin" typically means someone who has never had sexual intercourse. Given what you describe about your own sexual experience (or lack of), I would not hesitate to say that you are definitely considered a virgin.
For the most part, being a virgin is not about whether a woman's hymen is intact or broken. The hymen is a thin membrane that partially covers the opening to the vagina. It used to be that on her wedding night, if a woman's first sexual intercourse (losing her virginity) was painful and there was blood on the sheets, that was proof that she was a virgin. Today, we know that the hymen can break or stretch due to many things, long before the woman has her first intercourse. This is especially true for girls that are active. Playing sports, climbing trees and fences, horseback riding, and many other activities can result in a broken hymen (breaking of the hymen can often be painless). Masturbating deeply and using tampons can stretch the hymen a bit but will usually not break it. The only way to know for sure if your hymen is intact is to have your doctor or family planning nurse examine you to see if the membrane is still intact. It's not likely that you will be able to feel it yourself.
I hope this was of some help or comfort to you. I wish you all the best. Take care and be well.
Larry Siegel
To answer your other question, there are some doctors who will perform hymen reconstruction but I, personally, could never recommend it. I think it's worth considering that being a virgin is more about your mind than it is your body. You know that you have never had intercourse with any men before and that is part of who you are: by definition, a virgin. To be a virgin is to truly know that you are.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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