Register to join our community
|
|
Question:
My ex-boyfriend (age 32) has some serious intimacy issues. He has problems being physically intimate with someone he is emotionally intimate with. We have had a rocky on and off realtionship for over a year, currently we agreed to be friends, and he is just starting to open up to me. He is sharing with me, I just don't really know how to handle this. I suggested therapy, but he is not interested in that. Is there anyhting I can do to support him? Is there an effective way that would get someone into therapy?
Thank you for your time and help.
|
Answer:
by Brian Zamboni: (08/12/2006)
This is a difficult situation to be in. The bottom line is this: you can express concern and be supportive, but you cannot make him do the work nor can you “save” him. It’s similar to that old saying “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Thus, I encourage you to disabuse yourself of any idea that you can get him into therapy. Offer ideas and support (e.g., books to read, therapists to see), but do this once and bring it up only as needed. Otherwise, you may drag yourself into an unhealthy interpersonal dynamic. Also, you will need to be very careful to maintain your social, emotional, and sexual boundaries with him. Sometimes people make better friends than lovers or romantic partners. Sometimes you can love someone, but you cannot be in a relationship with that person—as friends or otherwise. Take care of yourself and make sure you have friendships and romantic relationships that are nurturing and healthy.Reviewed by: Kathleen VanKirk DHS
|
This question appears in the following topics:
|
|
|
|
