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Question:
HI, I'M A 23 YEAR OLD MALE ..MY PROBLEM IS THAT WHEN I HAVE SEX WITH MY PARTNER IT BECOMES DIFFICULT FOR ME TO EYACULATE , SPECIALLY INTRA VAGINA EYACULATION???
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Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree: (06/19/2004)
You are experiencing something that a number of young males your age do. It is common, after receiving years of messages about not getting someone pregnant, for males to be worried about it. It certainly can be the focus of your concentration during sex and keep you from really getting aroused so that you can ejaculate.
A delayed ejaculation is commonly related to not having enough stimulation to really set the arousal process into action. You are right to not use a latex condom because latex condoms do inhibit the feelings on the penis that may be part of erotic stimulation. If you should need a condom that increase the heat and stimulation, you might want to use a polyurethane one - Avanti. I think it is the only brand out still. Men find they get much more sensation than using latex, especially heat from the vagina. You would still want to add a water based lubricant to really make it feel slippery which can enhance the sensation as well.
Because you have learned to ejaculate through mastrubation (even though you suggest that you have trouble this way sometimes) you may have found ways to stimulate your body that will create the reaction that you want. You may now want to begin to add stimulation - even though you may not yet be ready to relax during intravaginal sex. You might have your partner stimulate you orally. You might want to use lots of a water based lubricant on your penis as you masturbate, use your partners body like the legs, nipples/breasts, mouth, neck and any part of the body to increase stimulation. You will want to also create fantasies that will relax your brain from the worry. You and your partner can talk about your fantasies and possibly use various other stimuli such as erotic videos, candlelight, play acting a scene that you find erotic, sexy undressing, etc. to increase what you do.
I wouldn't worry about intravaginal intercourse just yet. Begin getting more pleasure from the sexual interaction and work together with the partner to increase the feeling of arousal. Once you get that feeling heightened the ejaculation sometimes will follow.
Even if you want to have a child, you can ejaculate through masturbation, save the sperm and have it inseminated by a specialist. Don't worry too far down the line. Try to really increase your erotic pleasure now. When you know you are going to be with your partner, you may not want to masturbate beforehand, waiting instead to have the partner involved in your sexual arousal. The waiting may cause your body to get aroused as well.
If none of these ideas seem to work for you eventually (give them time to work), contact others on this site to see what they might suggest.Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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