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Question:
I am married since 1986, but my husband always abroad he stay with me about one month yearly, he wants to do love evryday and if he can twice daily, we loved each other, but he always tell me that I am cold during making love, he is fast but I am not, I want him to be happy with me, Is there any kind of medication that make me hot .
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Answer:
by Hussein Ghanem: (06/08/2004)
Since this is not a men's health issue, your question was forwarded to Dr. Annette Owens and her answer is: If I do understand you correctly, your situation is the following: Your husband is abroad most of the year and you only see each other one month every year. During that time he would like to make love several times every day, which seems to be too much for you. Also, he is fast and you require more time. How fast is he? He may have a condition called premature ejaculation, and you can learn more about this by searching our site, www.SexualHealth.com.
It is normal for many women to take a long time to get aroused and to reach orgasm. Are you able to reach orgasm? If not, we have much information in our orgasm channel. Is sex over after your husband ‘is finished’ or will he continue to stimulate and try to satisfy you?
To answer your question directly, there are no magic pills to ‘make you hot.’ I think you have a situation where you need to talk to your husband about how you would like your mutual lovemaking to be. It is not your responsibility to provide a body he can have sex with as fast and as often as he wants to, but instead I would encourage you to explore together what might bring both of you pleasure. You said that you love him and that is a very good and important starting point. I am sure that it must be difficult to re-connect each time after having been apart for so long.
If you are able to let your husband know what you like sexually, you might enjoy it much more. If you enjoy what is happening, you may be able to look forward to it and get more easily aroused. It is not the quantity of sex, which is important but the quality. And once again, quick encounters do not work for many women. It is often more arousing if the woman has much time to receive sexual stimulation and to get in the mood for sex.
Best wishes,
Annette Owens, MD PhD
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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