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Question:
hi I'm a 19yr old female. And have been with my boyfriend for a long time.. We have a healthy sex life but my problem is I have never had an orgasm, I don't even know what they should feel like? I sometimes feel like I need the toilet and my legs shake but then I move from the spot where he is touching and idont orgasm.he has been with a lot of partners and obviously knows when they orgasmed, and I know every girl is different but I want to know how it feels? Please help.

Answer:
by Gale Golden:
(01/31/2006)
Hi: Sorry you are experiencing such stress about orgasm. Here are a few suggestions that may help. First you can decide that you will not even try to have an orgasm with your boyfriend until you feel comfortable with some of my suggestions. Take the pressure off and just enjoy the sexual encounter as it is. I also hope your boyfriend does not "need" you to have an orgasm because of his ego. Sex can be pleasurable in many ways and orgasm is not the only goal. Many women do not have an orgasm every time they have sex. Secondly, get in touch with your own body. Buy a good book on woman's orgasm like Lonnie Barbach's book For Yourself and try some of the things she suggests while you are alone and have privacy. Get in touch with your own body first without your boyfriend around. It may take a few months for all this to work. If you cannot get where you need to go , try some professional help with someone who specializes in sexual issues. Take care of yourself!

Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology

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