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Question:
Me and my boyfriend tried to have sex for the first time a couple of nights ago. I am 19, he is 25 and we are both virgins. He tried to put his penis inside of me, when he went in it felt ok but when he tried to put it in further i felt a really sharp pain. He managed to get two of his fingers (full length) into me and that felt really comfortable and i was enjoying it, but when he went to put his penis in again, it was still painful, so in the end we ended up not doing anything. When i tried to insert my own finger it worked but i felt, what felt like a ball inside which must of been what he was pressing against and what must of hurt. Please can you give me some advise. Many thanks.
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Answer:
by Raven James: (01/14/2006)
It is very common for women to experience pain during intercourse at some point in thier lives, especially as a virgin. Women and men both have sexual response cycles, and the fist stage of sexual response is arousal or excitement. During the arousal stage, the reproductive tract and organs begin to fill with blood as sexual excitement builds. It could be that you are experiencing difficulty in this stage from what you describe.
Did you and your boyfriend engage in activities that build on becoming turned on such as kissing, touching each others genitals, breasts, etc? This activities are also known as foreplay and prepare a woman's vagina for the penis by lubricating itself through arousal. If you are not properly lubricated, there could be pain with the insertion of his penis. Fingers are smaller and easier to insert. A penis, erect and all the way in the vagina is a lot bigger, and if you are not wet enough inside, it could be painful.
Depending on how far in the vagina you inserted your finger, the "ball" you felt could have been your cervix, or the opening to the uterus. It can be touched with penetration by fingers or penis and thrusting of the penis can cause pain when it bumps into the cervix, especially in young women and virgins. As the vaginal area becomes mroe aroused, the blood vessels become engorged, and the vaginal canal relaxes and lengthens some, allowing for easier penetration by the penis.
I would ask you to consider trying to focus more on foreplay, becoming more aroused, and having some lubricant on hand in case you seem too dry and have more pain. Some lubricants you can buy are K-Y Jelly, Astroglide, Wet brands, etc. at the drug store. Be patient and give yourself time to adjust. If you continue to experience severe pain, do not continue to try intercourse, but consult a doctor to make sure there is nothing else physical that needs to be addressed.
Some women's hymen can be thick, and rarely may cause continued pain after intial tearing and stretching. The hymen is a fold of tissue at the opening to the vagina which is usually present from birth and may or may not still be intact at first intercourse. Your pain may be caused by a thick hymen that needs more stretching to become less painful. You can stretch this tissue yourself with your fingers and saliva or a water-soluble lubricant. Insert a lubricated finger into the vaginal opening and press downward toward the anus until you feel some stretching. After a few seconds, release the pressure and relax. Repeat this a few times. Next, use two fingers into the vagina and stretch the sides of the vagina by opening your fingers. This may help if it is the hymen that is causing the pain. Good luck and write back if you have any other questions.Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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