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Question:
Hey ok i'm a 17 year old female (i did try to ask this in the female section but it wouldnt let me for some strange reason)anyway, my current bf reffers to my vagina as broken. i dont get horney often if at all and when i do its not long enough to last for me to get much pleasure, we have nearly had sex a couple of times, but i'm still a virgin. i just dont get horney, it hurts my bf, he thinks that he's not good enough. i would just love to have sex with him and do stuff with him and have an orgasim and everything would be great but i can because i just dont get horney, as i said.also at different times during cycles my vagina is sensative, to the point if my bf tounches my clit i have to tell him to sop cause it hurts... please help me i want to be horney and feel pleasure wit my bf.
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Answer:
by Erin McKay: (02/03/2006)
That's terrible that your boyfriend considers your vagina to be broken. It doesn't sound like it is broken at all to me. It is simply quite possible that you are anxious as it sounds like this is your first time experimenting with intercourse.
Most women do not experience orgasm from intercourse. Try self-pleasuring on your own a few times to figure out what you like. It may take some time and practice before you’ll experience an orgasm.
Try and slow down the pace with your partner though activities that do not lead to intercourse. If intercourse is out of the question for a while this may reduce your anxiety while you can still participate in sensual activities such as massage, cuddling, kissing or petting.
Once you figure out what turns you on, teach your partner. This can be done by having your partner’s hand rest on yours while you self-pleasure or have him watch.
When you’re ready to give intercourse another try, remember to first have lots of foreplay until you're both in the mood (20 minutes at least). This may include cuddling, kissing, caressing, petting, fingering and oral sex. When your ready to have intercourse, make sure you are wet enough as women can dry up very quickly especially if you are nervous. It may help to use lubrication such as K.Y. jelly that can be bought at the pharmacy. And remember to ask him to go slowly and be very gentle the first time.
Something else to consider is for both of you to get tested for sexually transmitted infections if either of you have had previous partners. You may also want to discuss the use of contraceptives such as condoms or birth control especially if you do not want to get pregnant.
Reviewed by: Patricia Fawver Ph.D. in Sexology
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