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Question:
I am 18 years old and have never had a girlfriend before. I have never really felt the need for a partner. Until now. I have know this girl for about 6 years and we used to be like siblings, but now I feel a strong attraction to her. I also have fantasies about her. They are sometimes very sexual. Is this normal? She is the only person I have ever felt I needed. Also she is only 16. Should I tell her about my feelings toward her or am I just an oversexed teenager with?
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Answer:
by Konstance McCaffree: (05/29/2004)
Many sexual relationships develop after a long friendship. There are people who believe that these are even the strongest and most healthy relationships. When you meet someone and become instantly attracted to him or her, and a relationship develops quickly, it is sometimes built on the sex part, not on the friendship or companionship.
The fantasies are a natural part of your sexual attraction to her, and you are not just an oversexed teenager. I am not a believer that teenagers are oversexed. The sexual attractions and feelings we have are a natural part of growing into adulthood and your body is showing you a healthy sexuality.
As far as telling her about your feelings, I can’t answer that for you. You will have to decide if you want her to know. She may have the same feelings toward you and be relieved that you are bringing it up first. As a 16 year old, she may feel that you couldn’t possibly like her more than in friendship and would be afraid to let you know. On the other hand, once she knows it can cause a strain on your present friendship because she may feel awkward and not want to encourage you if that isn’t the way she feels. Sometimes, though, once a person knows that someone likes them, they begin to realize their own hidden feelings.
Your friendship sounds like a nice way to build a more intimate relationship, and I hope you will continue to enjoy it.
Reviewed by Sexual Health Editorial Team
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