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Anonymous on September 12, 2011

Is it normal to get aroused by everything my girlfriend does?

Is it normal to get aroused by any little thing a women does to you? I get aroused by hugs or kisses, or even holding hands. It's kind of embarrassing...how can I control my erections? At night, my girlfriend won't even cuddle because I have an erection. I'm really bad with premature ejaculation, too. Any thoughts?

answered by
David Sobel, MD, JD on September 12, 2011

Thanks so much for describing your situation. I can understand why you’re concerned, and I’m happy to offer you my best thoughts for your consideration, to hopefully help you understand what might be going on in your body.

First, it is not uncommon for men, especially young men, to experience spontaneous erections…or erections with very little stimulation.This is particularly true when a young man is in the company of someone whom he finds physically attractive. In fact, trying not to think about sex probably won’t help much…erections in the presence of an attractive individual is more of a physical reflex rather than something you can control through thought.

You mentioned that you have issues with frequent erections and that you ejaculate quickly. It’s likely that these issues are related. From your question, it sounds like you might be an easily excitable guy...and the two main psychological reasons that men ejaculate quickly are high excitement and high anxiety.

Unfortunately, the more you worry about premature ejaculation and frequent erections, the worse the problem may become. Typically, over time, men learn to control their erections and ejaculations better…but if this issue continues for a long time, I would encourage you to speak with your doctor or urologist about the possibility of medication to help reduce the likelihood of premature ejaculation.

For now, since I suspect you are young, my best advice is to talk with your partner to let her know that your excitement is the result of your attraction and caring for her.

Along those lines, you might want to give extra thought to your girlfriend’s wants and needs. And learning to be a considerate lover includes, in part, not pushing your girlfriend for sex just because you’re aroused.

I wish you good luck as you continue to learn about your body, and as you and your girlfriend grow in your relationship.

Related info:

David Sobel, MD, JD

Dr. Sobel is a Colorado-based urologist and Director of the Denver Center for Men’s Health. His areas of expertise include men's sexual health and all areas of urology, including urologic oncology, treatment of benign prostatic hypertrophy, stone disease and incontinence. Dr. Sobel was educated at the University of Michigan Law School and the University of Illinois at Chicago College of Medicine, and completed his residency at the Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, IL.

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