May 12-18th is National Women’s Health Week (NWHW). It ends today, but there is still time to make that mani/pedi appointment, take a long bath to check in with your body, or schedule an annual screening or physical.

Pioneered by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office on Women’s Health, NWHW is a weeklong observance aimed to bring together communities, businesses, government, health organizations and centers to promote women’s health, raise awareness, and encourage women to become advocates for their own care.

The Office on Women’s Health recommends women take the below actions toward greater self care:

• Visit a health care professional to receive regular checkups and preventive screenings.
• Get active.
• Eat healthy.
• Pay attention to mental health, including getting enough sleep and managing stress.
• Avoid unhealthy behaviors, such as smoking, not wearing a seatbelt or bicycle helmet, and texting while driving.

NWHW comes on the heels of Angelina Jolie’s Op-Ed in The New York Times: “My Medical Choice.” In the article she discusses her choice to have mastectomy as a preventative measure to combat future risk of breast cancer. Jolie’s choice has been criticized as privileged, but regardless of class controversy, it was an extremely brave choice and, most importantly, it was her choice. For more detailed information on preventive mastectomies, read: “Angelina Jolie, Breast Cancer, and You: How to Make the Right Decisions for YOUR Health.”

It is equally important to include self-identified women during National Women’s Health Week and to encourage greater care for female-identified persons, including trans women undergoing feminizing hormonal treatment. Trans men who have female reproductive organs should also have access to gynecological services. Encourage your local health center(s) to include trans health in their model of care. The Trans Greater Access Project (TGAP) is a great place to begin.

Whether you are a woman simply relaxing this week, a celebrity who made a brave and difficult decision about her body, or a trans person who stepped into a community health center for the first time, it is important that care of our bodies and ourselves is taken. And taken seriously.

What did you do to celebrate National Women’s Health Week? Let us know in the comments!

• An estimated 20 million new cases of STD infection are reported each year in the U.S.
• The cost to treat STD symptoms annually is an estimated $16 billion.
• Young folk are the hardest hit–the Centers for Disease Control reports that of all cases of STD infection, approximately half of those are teens and young adults.

Even if the month isn’t exactly party-worthy, it’s still important to mark the occasion in a few easy ways:

Get tested. If you know that you’re safe, you can have a better time celebrating STD Awareness Month with other revelers.

Use party favors. Grabbing a supply of condoms, dental dams and other handy-dandy prophylactics can help protect you from getting infected with a whole host of ailments.

Spread the word. You could write “HAPPY STD AWARENESS MONTH” across the sky with a twin-engine Cessna, or go ahead and write that catchy pop ditty about STD Awareness Month. It might be easier to just share a website (via email, Twitter, Facebook or word of mouth) with your friends and loved ones:

• The Centers for Disease Control website has up-to-the-minute information on STDs–research, which infections are on the rise, and how to protect yourself.
• The National Institutes of Health site has a special section on STDs, including what diseases are out there, what STI symptoms to watch out for and what treatment options exist.
• Share this blog with your amigos and tell them to bookmark it. It’s a pretty handy resource, if we may be so humble.

Stay safe, my friends.

Wait, what?

Filed under “What will they think of next?” are Giant Microbes toys. The brainchild of Drew Oliver, this line of lovable, fuzzy playthings are intended to help educate folks young and old about the dangers of disease by harnessing the power of cute. The company offers all the popular diseases–anthrax, cancer, the Black Death–but among the most fascinating offerings are the STDs, including herpes, HIV, syphilis and more. Each of the toys resembles an enlarged version of the corresponding bug, with the addition of cute googly eyes. They’d likely make a great gift for that special someone with a weird sense
of humor.

One important thing to keep in mind: When it comes to REAL STDs, you shouldn’t play around. Stay safe, and be sure to get tested.

If you’re on the Internet, odds are you’re very familiar with the Macklemore video for “Thrift Shop,” a musical love letter to the art of procuring vintage coats, shirts and other treasures previously worn by strangers. The video has been viewed 144 million times–equivalent to the entire population of Russia.

Just when you thought you were sick of the rap and the maddeningly catchy sax loop comes this fabulous sendup from Out of the Closet, a chain of resale shops with a mission: to get every single viewer tested. In addition to hilariously clever lyrics, the video gets help from some serious star power: Pauley Perrette (Abby from the hit show NCIS), Verne Troyer (best known as Mini-Me from the Austin Powers flicks) and Anika Noni Rose (from The Good Wife). While you’re laughing at the video and grooving to the beat, the folks on screen are sneaking in a message about Out of the Closet’s free HIV testing, the importance of knowing your status and the organization’s support of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation.

For more:

• Catch the video here (be ready to be singing it for days afterward) (mild language alert: may not be appropriate to play at work)
• Learn about Out of the Closet, find a location and donate (so that others can benefit from the testing services)
• Get information on affordable HIV testing from Sexual Health

Stay healthy, my friends.

If you’ve seen the CBS sitcom (and you probably have, since it’s on some channel or other every single minute of the day), you know that the character Barney Stinson has sex. Like, a LOT. Especially in the early seasons, it’s fair to say his near sole purpose for existence is to “bang” as many women as he possibly can. In one 30-minute episode, the skeevy sex fiend can be witnessed with as many as half a dozen ladies. He memorably commemorates his 200th horizontal encounter in the show’s fourth season, and he’s so far kept the humping and pumping going for four more seasons since that celebratory moment.

Yet the amazing thing about Mr. Stinson’s string of amorous adventures
is that despite never playing it safe and wearing a condom on Barney
Jr., he never catches any STDs. He never even gets an STD test. Despite exposing his tender bits to enough strangers to field about 50 softball teams, the guy never comes down with chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, or HIV/AIDS symptoms.

Barney’s amazing streak of luck in avoiding STDs is a far-off fantasy. You, sadly, have to deal with the reality—a reality that dictates if you were to attempt to duplicate his cavalcade of condomless conquests, you wouldn’t get too far down the road before succumbing to symptoms of one STI or another.

Happily, condoms are never very far out of reach. Even if you’re too broke to buy a pack of prophylactics at your friendly neighborhood drug store, free condoms are never far away:
• The website CondomFinder enables you to enter your ZIP code and determine in an instant what clinic, bar or community center within easy striking distance can set you up.
• Several smartphone apps enable you to use your handheld to get to free condoms; search “condom finder” in the iTunes or Google Play stores to set yourself up.
Happy hunting.

Photo credit: CBS

Here is what we came up with for no-risk and low-risk romantic adventures!

1. Cupcakes! Need I say more? You and your partner can make cupcakes together and start a food fight with the extra frosting! Of course, make sure you are naked when you start the food fight.
2. Naked cuddling! Specifically, naked cuddling that does not lead to sex. Make time to just be with each other without the progression toward sexual play or intercourse. This could be quite lovely, and very safe!
3. Bathe your partner. This is always very sweet and intimate. Add a glass of wine and some classical music and you have yourself a date!
4. Couples art projects! Maybe paint each other naked or block out time for you and your partner to play with clay, acrylics, or crafts.
5. Take non-naked photos of each other, perhaps while adventuring through the city on bicycle or while strolling through the Botanic Garden.
6. Exercise together. This can be a fun way to laugh, boost endorphins, and keep healthy and fit!
7. Cook a meal together and eat it in bed. Or even plan to sip coffee and eat yogurt in bed if neither of you want to make a large breakfast in the morning. This type of activity can be really silly and charming.
8.  Marathon make-out sessions on the couch like in high school! Sometimes it is just really good to kiss.
9. Collaborate on erotic stories or read erotica aloud together. Though, I would maybe not plan to cuddle naked after this.
10. Interactive scavenger hunts! Link up with local sex toy stores and send your partner on a mission! The prize at the end? You.

A caveat to making naked cuddle or play dates: really do use them to just be around one another naked. No sex. This type of nakedness is body positive and can create stronger intimate bonds.

Happy V-Day!  Watch The Vagina Monologues in your city! Congrats to Illinois for passing Marriage Equality in the Senate! Kiss someone!

xo

The first headline indicates suspicion, or plants the seed that suspicion should be warranted or is the norm. The second headline undermines ex sex by referring to the study as “obvious.” Rather than act as baselines for support, the headlines are assumptive, creating fear or undermining issues. The headlines create gossip. And what could be worse for people undergoing divorce or partnership breakup than gossip?

It’s depressing. But there is another angle not prominently displayed  in the HuffPost Divorce section. Scrolling through the archives, “Life After Divorce: Readers Share Their Thank-You Letters To Their Exes” makes an appearance. It is uplifting and gracious. It is forward thinking. It is reminiscent of A Softer World.

It might be what the perpetually single, the sustainable relationships, the open relationships, the ethical non-monogamists, and the ethical sluts work hard to accomplish every day. The opposite of gossip and bitter sentiment. The opposite of jealousy: compersion.

There has been a surge of news coverage and community building efforts in the last few years focused on alternative relationship styles, often labeled polyamory. Some of the news coverage takes a look at sociological shifts and gender disparities. Others take at a more DIY approach to the dynamics. Others go straight to the source. Open relationships can engage and challenge traditional concepts of what a relationship is, or has to be.

Why is this important to HuffPost’s Divorce column? Because, though progressive as it is in nature by simply existing, it still purports gossip culture, in some cases even fear culture, and operates within a gender binary system. Where are the queer or gay communities represented in the articles?

What if fantasizing about other people turned a partner on instead of arousing suspicion? And what if that’s ok? What if ex sex became a luxury, a healing, to those at the mercy of other, more controlling counter partners, or metamours?

If some of this language is confusing, it is because it hasn’t hit the colloquial discourse of how break ups affect people who are in multiple partnerships. It could be argued that open relationships heighten the sense of responsibility within an individual, and therefore community, and questions gender normativity in the process. It radicalizes the concept of care.

Perhaps Huffington Post and other news outlets should consider creating content for alternative relationship styles.

It’s been a hundred years, but even Amelia Earhart had some thoughts on the matter.

And they were not all that radical.

Two excellent books on the subject include: Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustianing Open Relationships and The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships and Other Adventures.

A critical study of non-monogamous vs. monogamous relationships was published recently in the academic journal Personality and Social Psychology Review: A Critical Examination of Popular Assumptions about the Benefits and Outcomes of Monogamous Relationships. 

Psychology Today is another good place to begin.

If you are into zines or DIY culture, and you can find it your local bookstore or zine fest, this is a favorite: Poly Oly Oxen Free!

Hepatitis C. There might be a ton of topics that are more fun to talk about than that particular STI—kittens, iPhones, different foods you can wrap in bacon—but there’s not very many that are as important. This sexually transmitted disease is a particularly vexing one; if left undetected or untreated, you could end up with serious liver disease, such as cirrhosis or cancer.

That’s why this week’s #STDchat is focusing on hepatitis C. Dr. Oldson will be answering your questions and sharing the latest news:

• As SexualHealth.com reported this week, http://www.sexualhealth.com/hepatitis-c-cases-increase-among-young-adults_n_1294/ the disease is making a comeback after years of decreasing cases (possibly due to increased injectable drug use among teens and young adults).
• The Centers for Disease Control recently issued new guidelines for Baby Boomers, http://www.cdc.gov/features/HepatitisCTesting/index.html recommending that folks born between 1945 and 1965 get tested.
• New testing and treatment options are coming along—learn what options exist if you’re diagnosed or are showing hepatitis C symptoms.

This hour-long chat is happening Friday, January 25th at 12 PM CST. If you’d like to take part in the talk and boost your hep-C knowledge, there’s a few ways to do just that:

• Follow Dr. Oldson (@LisaOldson) and SexualHealth.com (@SexualHealth) on Twitter
• Submit a question by tweeting it, using hashtag #STDchat
• If you’d rather just stay silent and lurk, follow the #STDchat hashtag and see what questions others are putting to the good doctor.

See you later today!

Health headlines around the globe are reporting that STDs are on the rise—and chlamydia is leading the pack. According to the Centers for Disease Control, the good old U.S. of A. is host to about 2.8 million cases of the bug each year—with only half of those reported.

One unlikely group in another country is affected by the disease: koala bears. Last week, the Sydney Morning Herald talked to Australian scientists that have found two different, nasty strains of chlamydia are spreading in previously healthy populations of the cute, cuddly critters, with effects ranging from sterility to blindness.

While the chlamydia that the koalas are carrying is different from the chlamydia humans carry, the lesson learned is the same—it’s a nasty bug with potentially devastating effects. Because not everyone exhibits chlamydia symptoms, it’s crucial to get tested, to ensure you and your partners stay healthy. There are tons of places to turn to ensure you’re in the clear:
• SexualHealth.com offers a comprehensive test that screens for eight of the most common STIs: chlamydia, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, herpes 1, herpes 2, HIV-1, gonorrhea, and syphyllis.
• Planned Parenthood is a great place to turn if you’re looking for affordable testing resources, or if you have questions about STI testing
• YouTube isn’t just for videos of kittens and guys falling on skateboards—groups like the CDC have informative clips that can answer some questions and quell some fears.

So go get tested, mate.

Short of carrying around a manila folder stuffed with your latest test results, showing that you’re good to go was a challenge before these apps. Now, that smartphone you’re always playing Words With Friends and Angry Birds on is good for helping you with getting horizontal play, too. The following apps demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’re free of STDs by linking your latest medical info with your phone—safely, securely and confidentially.

• MedXSafe: From the folks at MedXCom, this iPhone app uses Bump technology, letting you and your potential partner touch and tap your phones together to share your STD status information. The data is encrypted, so no sharing of other personal info unless you want to.
• Qpid.me: This simple, free tool connects your medical 411 to a secure online database, then gives you control over whom you share your STD status info with—via text, or an online link.
• U Should Know: For a pretty affordable fee, this membership site gives you password-protected power to exchange info with your intended mates about which STDs you were tested for, and when.
• ChecMate: This free app, available for both Android and iPhone, lets you share status info via password; you also can use the tool to locate the nearest STD screening center if it’s been a while since you were last checked out by a doc, as well as treatment centers if you think you might have caught something.

Now, go out and play.