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Inevitable Costs of Aging
(05/04/2004) by Robert W. Birch, Ph.D.,
The inevitable sexual changes of the aging male begin somewhere between the ages of 45 and 55, varying from man to man in terms of when the changes become apparent and how rapidly they progress. Following are the most common changes:
- Sexual drive and urgency decrease
- Spontaneous erections cease to occur
- Direct stimulation becomes necessary
- Continual stimulation is often necessary
- Erections take longer to achieve
- The pre-ejaculate diminishes
- Erections are not as firm as they once were
- The angle of the erection changes
- Erections become unstable
- Firmness might wax and wane
- A longer period of stimulation is needed to ejaculate
- A closing window of opportunity to ejaculate
- Ejaculations can become elusive
- The volume and velocity of the ejaculate decreases
- Diminished experience of orgasm
- A longer time is needed to recover after ejaculation
An aging couple can no longer depend on the same wild, spontaneous sex they had experienced in their youth. The everyday pressures and responsibilities of mature adulthood alone could hamper spontaneity, but matters are made worse by an aging body in an aging relationship. It is one of those regrettable realities of life that an aging couple is not likely to be suddenly swept away by simultaneous intense lust.
With the inevitable decrease in this spontaneous emotional passion, many people automatically assume they can no longer become physically aroused. In fact, if their sexual desire has dropped significantly, they might not even think about sex unless prompted by a more amorous partner. However, sexual arousal is not strictly dependent upon a preceding awareness of physical desire. In this regard, there is also sexual excitement that can result from the built-in neurological reflex triggered by the direct stimulation of an erogenous area.
Just because sexual desire isn't there or isn't as strong as it used to be, it doesn't automatically follow that sexual arousal disappears too. Arousal can be jump-started if the person with the sluggish libido is willing, physically and mentally comfortable, physically and mentally relaxed, and the touch begins as nonsexual caress before focusing on the erogenous areas of the male penis or female clitoris. When conditions are right and the touch is effective, neurogenic arousal can occur and pleasurable arousal will follow.
Excerpted from Sex and the Aging Male: Understanding and Coping with Change
Copyright 2000 Robert W. Birch, Ph.D., PEC Publishing, Ohio.
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